Kids are the most precious gift ever. Sometimes these cute beings make it really difficult for parents not to lose their cool. You will never know when you started yelling at their naive questions. Sometimes promises, pleadings, and threats don’t work and parents won’t notice they started yelling at their kids.
Studies have shown that yelling is the most harmful discipline strategy that will make children’s behavior even worse. According to a study, 89% of parents are reported yelling at their children. The problem is that it is not even effective and eventually, parents will feel bad about their behavior. No doubt every parent loves their children the most, but sometimes kids really test their patience. According to Dr. Junaid Jahangir Abbasi, there are quick and effective ways to teach kids discipline without yelling.
Why Parenting without yelling is more effective
Yelling is a discipline mistake that is really harmful to both children’s behavior and parent’s relationship with kids. According to research, parents yell at the kid when they get frustrated. Parents think they are teaching kids discipline, while actually, they are unaware of the dreadful impacts of yelling. Here are some reasons why parenting without yelling is more effective.
Yelling tells kids that aggression is fine.
Yelling at kids feels fine initially, kids will listen to you but what is raising your voice teaching your kid. It teaches them that aggression is a very good way to communicate and shut other peoples. Kids learn things by observing others and imitating other’s behavior.
Yelling is not respectful
How will you feel if your friend, colleague, or boss yells at you. You will most probably feel hurt and angry. Kids also have a personality and self-esteem and they will most probably feel defensive or hurt. In response, kids may react in anger and start defending their wrongdoing, this will again make parents angry.
Yelling will lose its effectiveness
Yelling at kids all the time normalizes its effect on them. Kids won’t be able to differentiate between good and bad. Shortly they will listen and behave themselves but in the long term, kids will become arrogant.
Parents lose control and respect
Kids want attention all the time. Poor behavior gets them attention. When parents yell at kids they are actually paying attention and that makes kids misbehave again. Over time parents start to lose control of their emotions and kids think parents are not in control. Being angry all the time also makes parents lose respect in the eyes of their kids.
Quick Ways to teach discipline without yelling
Teaching discipline is a part of training and not punishing. Teaching discipline is guiding and instructing how to behave. As the goal of discipline is a long-term objective, there is no hack in it. Parents need to learn better ways to communicate with children and teach them good habits.
Here some quick ways to teach kids discipline without yelling.
Establishing clear rules
Establishing clear household rules from an early age makes kids less likely to do mistakes and misbehave. Tell kids the consequences of breaking rules and why these rules are important. It makes kids feel safe as everyone is following the same rules.
Making it easier for kids not to fail
Childhood is the age of learning and experimenting. Step in your children’s shoes and try to think from their perspective. Try knowing the reason behind the bad behavior. If you are restaining from their favorite activity or telling them to eat healthily, they won’t listen to you. Instead of yelling you should find easy and interesting ways for kids to follow your guidelines.
Doing it with cooperation
Yelling at kids makes them feel inferior and guilty which shatters their confidence. When you work with your kids or ask cooperative questions they will know that you care for them. For example, you do not want to say why you are not brushing your teeth? You should say, What do good boys do before bed?
Giving yourself a timeout
Parents are also humans and kids leave no stones unturned to make parents angry. Sometimes kids do make parents lose their cool. If you find yourself getting irritated, angry, or impatient just give yourself a timeout. Calm yourself, drink water, take a deep breath and remember that the goal is teaching not punishing the kids.
Words are really powerful and they leave a very drastic impact on kids. No matter how frustrated, tired or angry you are, always remember never to insult kids. The goal of teaching discipline is to build confidence, empower kids and teach them good habits. Always concern a child specialist near you in case of any behavioral or medical condition.